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Regarding last week's KICK: Why YOU Want to Be Fat 

Dear OLofWL ~ I'm so glad you asked! Yes, I want to be fat and these are my reasons: Carrying around two people makes me tired and I have an excuse to be lazy. * Since I can't fit into a bathing suit, I can avoid getting my hair wet swimming and don't have to endure being splashed or possibly drowned. * I find that I'm invisible in a room full of men and they won't hit on me which makes my husband feel sooooo secure.

Why does anyone practice self-defeating behaviors like eating too much and moving too little? There is real psychology to successful weight-loss, and I will be very interested in hearing your response.  Making the changes could take years of therapy which is just as much work as losing weight.  I find I am fat because I am lazy and complacent, pure and simple.  But, Oh, how to change???? - Sue T.

* * *

Dear OLoWL - In January of this year, I joined Weight Watchers and faithfully stuck to the program, enthused and energized.  I continued for 16 weeks to lose 20 lbs.  When I had to give a short speech about the fact that I was going to make it (another 70 lbs,) I felt very arrogant that "I was going to continue to lose each week and nothing would stop me!"  I felt like a jerk right after I said it, and the next morning, I woke up and it was like a switch had been turned off.  I had absolutely no interest in going back or continuing the plan.   I realized at that time that the reason I was fat was TOTALLY in my head! 

After this week's newsletter, I did do some soul searching and know the reasons why I am fat.  It's a hard thing to admit to strangers, let alone myself.  They say you can't blame someone else for you being fat.  But I do.  (Those words made me fat...I Do).  Anyways...I am not sure how to get beyond that.  It makes me very sad.  I continue to constantly think about food and what the magical answer will be.  I will be a sucker for every gimmick that comes along.  I even tried Alli HOPING it would give me diarrhea to lose weight!  Food and dieting are always on my mind.  Yes...my conscious mind and subconscious mind are at war.   Keeping that armor up............PL

Dear PL ~ It is very scary to believe in oneself; to declare to the public that you will do something - to go after and to accomplish your goals; to CLAIM what is YOURS, particularly if you have seemingly failed on other occasions.  So, rather than lose the entire 90 pounds and take the risk of making it and creating real change, you back off and stop. In some crazy way, it saves you from a worse pain - losing all the excess weight and gaining it back or finding that life-in-general may not being what you imagine it will be after the 90 lbs. are gone.  That excess layer serves as protection. When you declared that you were going to get rid of it [excess layer], your unconscious mind swept in and protected you.  Use your armor and weapons to beat the fear away, instead of using your armor to shut down and beat yourself up. ~ OLofWL

* * * 

Dear OLofWL ~ I think last week's "Kick" is an especially good one.  It set me to wondering if you hear from men.   It was the "protection from men" statement.  Perhaps men might eat because they fear relationships with women, but most weight loss issues and exercise programs are aimed at women.  I wonder how men worry about the same issues, and if some might contact you because their female partners (is that politically correct?) receive your e-mail. ~ Glo.

Dear Glo ~  True, men are not in the majority in the KITT Club membership roster, but nevertheless, I know for a fact that you are out there.  So guys, Does your partner forward this email to you? Are you a member?  Tawk to us.  We're listening.  What's your beef? Why are YOU fat? ~ OLofWL

* * *

Dear OLofWL ~ For those who bellyache about Alli or Xenical take a tip,first do your homework, read about the products and talk to your doctor.  The person who took Alli for merely three days and had so many complaints, did not fortify them self first with info. I was placed on Xenical when it first came out.  Not for weight loss, but because I had IBS coupled with many health issues. I've had surgery twice on my intestines, placed on Xenical twice in the past. I am now on it for the third time this time twofold - for intestinal problems and to lose weight. Not everyone is successful with diet alone and need help whether it's bypass or a lap job.  There are sucess stories out there, and these aides should not be knocked. I tried them all and found myself at peace with Xenical. I am not an advocate of all these schemes of quick weight loss pills and diets or for Alli or Xenical just resent knocking!  've read your book ,enjoy your E-mails and believe in you. ~ RG, Albany

Dear RG ~ For the record, I am for people doing what is best for them.  If Xenical works for you; if you have consulted a responsible doctor - then great.  You are the captain of your own ship.  I have no judgment.  But as a hypno-coach, I reiterate.  When it comes to weight loss, there are no magic bullets.  AND even if these drugs or surgeries help, one still has to go inside and work on the whys and wherefores of how they got heavy (some dangerously so) in the first place, or they run the high risk of losing large sums of weight and then gaining it back.  So for those who are seeking a quick fix, an easy way to weigh less, a way to avoid the challenges of life, to circumvent their emotions, I say this: In order to succeed at permanent fat removal (vs. weight loss - if you lose it; you may find it!), you have to go inside and approach this from a new point of view. ~ OLofWL

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